Thursday, November 09, 2006

notes to self.

sooo...yeah. notes to self.

#1. self, if you're knitting with handspun thick-and-thin bamboo yarn... do not (repeat; NOT) try to kitchener stitch the ends together. your yarn will fray and dehisce; indeed, it will dissolve before your very eyes, causing them to weep tears of frustrated agony. you will rip 3 rows to finally, on the third try, make it all the way through the ends without fraying.

#2. self, do not try to kitchener while sitting in the common living room where people will ask you questions constantly about things both related and unrelated to knitting.

#3. self, after wiping the tears and sweat from your face and brow, do not NOT NOT think to yourself "I should block this." you shouldn't. you're working with bamboo. go ahead. submerge it in water and just try to squeeze the water out. yeah. that's right. instant gross fuzziness. now you've got a sopping wet blob that you want to block, but it'll be mildewy before it's dry.

#4. self, invent a time machine. go back. hit me over the head when I contemplate doing numbers 1-3.

oh, and hey, have you heard? the solution to global climate change isn't in cleaner energy and more efficient use of resources- it's in putting a giant mesh screen around the earth to reflect solar energy. or about moving the earth out of orbit using H bombs. or about shooting sulfur particles into the atmosphere.

I'm serious. people have published papers on this. nobel prize winners have published papers on this.

be afraid. be very afraid.

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