Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I can not has productivity.

so I go to print out my boarding pass, and what do I see?

it's like he knows...

off to mail package to firefly swappee. swapee? hope she likes it! I'll post a picture once I know they've received it.

Then laundry. Then fudz. Then (sigh) packing. time to crank the Dina. that is, if the cat gets off the laptop long enough for me to start iTunes.

first hit finding that? bli hos mig. swedish what?

next on the related videos? english?! whaaaaaat?!

oh god. brain. so. hurty. SO HURTY.

and for god's sakes. Let The 80's Die, People!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hello I wish to register A Complaint!


Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, STUPID California I hate you die.

Raziel hates me because I took him to the vet today. Jayne hates me because I took him to the vet today AND back to the shelter to get him microchipped since they were out when we adopted him. The city of El Cerrito hates me because I parked on a white curb.

just a white curb. no signage. the green curb on the opposite side was posted as a 30 minute parking zone, so I deliberately didn't park there since I wasn't sure how long I'd have to wait at the vet's with the kittehs. The curb by the corner was red, which is obvious no matter your state. so, me, I park where all evidence suggests that I am safe and happy.

what the hell does a white curb mean? a 3-min load/unload zone. NOWHERE in the CVC does it say that a white curb = 3 minutes. I couldn't find the elusive 'ecc' that my ticket cited. CDOT gave me nothing. CDMV gave me nothing but distance-from-the-curb and hill parking and 'obey posted signs' which is FUN when there aren't any.
where did I find something, anything stating that a white curb = 3 minutes? wikipedia. WIKIPEDIA. What. The. Fsmurmgggrrrfraghlmr.

and I know. Ignorantia juris non excusat. (although I think that's been bastardized by the legal system and that ignorantia legis neminem excusat is closer to what they mean when they say that ignorance of the law excuses none BUT that's the angry classicist talking. ((back in the box! back in the box!)) )

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

37 Uses for a Dead Sheep.

"I will not explain it, because then you will see the djinn in your dreams."
"Actually in this village I am a famous sheep murderer."

go watch "37 Uses for a Dead Sheep" because it's awesome. Turkish sounds like a great language to be a crotchety old man in. 09poop''''';;;;;;//;hgjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk-,h

how on earth did the cat manage to spell poop? probably because that's all he does. ah, well.

although I did start watching based entirely on the fact that when I saw the title, I heard Lars-Trygve's voice in my head saying brightly "I saw a dead sheep!" in response to Marte's "I saw a gosling!" after The Great Sheep Caper.

oh dear god.

please, by all that is holy and right and wonderful in this world, please let it be so that this woman needed several takes to make it through this video without cracking up. please.

otherwise, I'm going to cry. and move to my happy little island of sanity.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I can has certification!

huzzah. now I just have to get certified by the Grand State of California. oh, joy, more paperwork. curse you, wheels of bureaucracy!

anyway. gratuitous cuteness:
Raziel's about two seconds away from flipping out and escaping the clutches of The Boy.

Monday, September 15, 2008


So according to MyHeritage.com's celebrity photo matching thing, I look the most like Rogue.

or three of the popular K-pop stars. or Zhang Ziye. or a J-pop star/actress.

...now I'm not saying you're not going to find some entertaining fragments buried in my genetic code that don't come from Norway or Germany (Hello, Northern/Eastern Europe!), but I'm pretty sure that mongoloid isn't going to be applied to my skull in the far future. (Hello, futuristic Temperence Brennen! ...wait, that means I died a horrible death and ended up somewhere strange. ok, let's back up. um....Hello, Temperence Brennen working on cataloging a old cemetary full of peacefully-dead folks!)

Anyway. no matter the photo, there will be at least 3, more likely 5, of 10 lookalikes that are asian. is it like that for everyone? I don't know.

I'm off to make my SALMON ONIGIRI OMGYAY*, grab my knitting (shawl of doom will die), and head to BART to muni to muni to the building where I get to fork over $90 to take a stupid computer based exam. boo NREMT. boo.

*I have been listening to my lecture notes for the past 3 days. oh. mai. gawd. I think my brain is fssszzzzzt. so you can just deal with the outbreak of intarwebz.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I was searching for this for Lars and about to give up when Re-SULT!

and now it's going on the blog, so I can find the damn thing again.

I knew there was a reason.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead.

I have long held that this movie is, in fact, fantastic, so I was most pleased when I flicked on the TV for more paper sorting, sighed when I realized that it was a Burn Notice marathon and not an NCIS marathon, decided to see if there was a Clean House on (I love me my Niecy! even though she drives The Boy insaaaaane), and happened to pop into R&G on my way down the channel list.

Just in time for the wind.

and as I was watching, I went...that...looks...like Gary Oldman. can't be. I'd know. check info. gasp. it is. flippin' sweet.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

boom de yada

I know, I know, the cheesiest commercial known to man. but still. how can you not love this?

water-bears in spaaaaaaace!

not only that- zombie water-bears in spaaaaace!

although the evil part of my brain is going "where's PETA now, hm? who cares about the TORTURES being inflicted on countless innocent waterbears, huh? HUH?" but it is being hustled back to its cynicave by the more rational parts of the brain, which are going "shutup! are you nuts? you want them to go even crazier? back in the cave! now! don't make me get the superego..."

anyway, back to the shiny.
from the great XKCD. who I recently discovered has alttext tags on all his comics, which meant I had to go aaaaall the way back through the archive. not that it was that painful. twist my arm.

and youtube almost always comes through-



but the best:

Friday, September 05, 2008

O Causa Petus!

(that's Oh for Pete's Sake, for all y'all non-classicists. dvs, everyone who isn't Mom, since I don't think grandma and grandpa read this. hi, Mom.)

But seriously folks. Why is it that you can find all manner of freaked out people ranting and raving and quoting and fearmongering about pinko commie plots against us, the Good People of America The Brave, involving that sweet bane of our existence, Fluoride, and the aforementioned Terror of The Deep, Dark Doctor's Office, Vaccinations.

oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die.

Except that we ARE, because nowhere can I find the masses mobilized against the overproliferation of antibiotics. note that I mention 'masses,' because there's plenty of info out there, but I'm talking about your stereotypical, internet-forum poster with lots of pretty links and well-written (and horribly written) vitriol.

(please note that each of the links above will lead you to a shiny website of www. insert-topic-here debate.com. someone's paying for that domain.)

and yes, this website's fairly shiny. but they're about all manner of things, like bovine growth hormone, global climate change, etc, and this is just one small subset of the massive website.

google 'antibiotic debate' and pretty much all the top articles are of the 'feeding antibiotics to livestock' variety. "antibiotic overproliferation" gets you...a sudden jump in really big words that are by no means friendly to the general public. (do it with 'antibiotic overperfusion' and you need a medical degree. sheesh.) "antibiotic terror" gives you everything you want to know about Anthrax. But take note of the third link down. yes, still about Terror (Fear! Fear! Fear!). but what specifically?


your four letter word for "oh my god we're all gonna die and this time I'm serious, man."

Multi-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus. Think it's hyperbole? they're still crunching numbers, (and yes, I know, stats are stats are stats and you only trust them as much as you can throw them), but it's very likely that in 2007 more people died from MRSA than did from AIDS around the world. it can lead to sepsis (mmm, bacteria in your blood! yummy!), TSS, and necrotizing pneumonia. (...ew.)

You don't need antibacterial hand soap. OCD? get an alcohol wipe. kills the bacteria AND the viruses, not to mention your beneficial skin bacteria. oh, well. Antibacterial Body Wash! Antibacterial window cleaner! Antibacterial spray and wipes for your door handles and kid's toys! Antibacterial laundry detergent! Antibacterial Kleenex and Toilet Paper. (you laugh. I've seen it.)

soap. and. water. go ahead, add a capful of bleach to your mop bucket or some vinegar to your spraybottle if your skin is getting that skitchy feeling after Billy's friend Joe has been wiping his snot all over the walls of your house and toys and the cat and you. raw chicken goo on the counter? soap. water. lemon juice will make it smell nice. and Billy can drink it without side effects other than an unhappy digestive system.

let's save the antibacterial soaps and sprays for industrial use, hm? like BART bathrooms, because....ew. and hospitals, although even there, the little squeegy things near almost every entrance and exit? alcohol based.

on the other hand, this cracks me up and gives me hope. (I have quite possibly been reading too much Mark Morford.) you thought you'd seen every peripheral possible for an iPod? you thought wrong. Hi Larry Ass. (thanks, scott, for a wonderful turn of phrase.)

on the other other hand, what is it that makes me unable to post a reply when it's obvious that I am never going to influence the debate?lkjh;lukjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkj988b and why does Jayne insist on adding his unintelligible 2 cents to everything?

Thursday, September 04, 2008

oh, small children.

this is worth it just for what happens at 0:58.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

the agony of indecision...

I just took a quiz where I was prompted to choose what I'd indulge in if I wanted to get myself a treat. the second option down was "a new book" and I mentally said "aha, perfect."

then I kept reading, and the second from the bottom was "some art supplies."

I may have said an indelicate word.

choosing the first, I was given this response:

You Are a Lip Piercing

You are rebellious and defiant. You resist conforming and following rules.
You're the type to get pierced anywhere you want, and you're not taking your piercings out for anyone!
Reflective and philosophical, you've spent a lot of time thinking about how you'd like to live your life.
And it just so happens that your preferred lifestyle is pretty far outside the mainstream.
While people may find you standoffish, you aren't necessarily rude, mean, or judgmental.
You just don't try to fit in. And that's enough to scare most people away!

taking the second option, I got this:

You Are an Eyebrow Piercing

You are unique, quirky, and more than a little eccentric.

You cultivate the weirder sides of your personality, and you don't mind sharing them.

Ever since you were a kid, you've had strong opinions. You've never been like everyone else, and you're okay with that.

And you've always been able to tell people exactly what you think - even when they don't want to hear it.

You love to create, dream, imagine, and communicate. You live in your own universe.

And unlike most people who live in their own little world, you're happy to invite anyone in!

Neither one is a piercing that appeals to me, but hey, random meaningless quizzes are what the internet was meant for, right? *cough*

the wheels of bureaucracy turn slowly, but they finally turned enough to let the NREMT agree to let me test! whee! tomorrow I get to call whoever it is I need to call and find a test center and date.

also, thanks to more waiting for jam-to-become-jam-and-not-really hot fruit juice, I have discovered that: (not going to link all these, because some of them aren't very entertaining, but you, too, can lose time to blogthings, should you desire.)

I am "76% Obama, 24% McCain" (but not likely, because it was a two-option thing, and we all know how much I love those.)
my travel profile was disappointing; I was hoping for a quiz, not a "check off the cities you've been to and we'll calculate a percentage" (hello, people...there are more than 15 cities in europe.)
I belong in the UK. (although the quiz title was "what english speaking country are you")
I am Very Worldly.
I am a Natural Beauty (read: too lazy to wear makeup and fight with hair)
I am 48% democrat, and 20 % republican. (I guess the other 32 % is off with arbeiderpartiet.)
I am a Moderate Mama (other alternatives were Liberal Lady and Conservative Chick) (this one's pretty dead on, so far.)
I am Chinese Food.
I should Play The Harp. (because apparently my dominant personality characteristic is my 'zen-ness' and my secondary personality characteristic is my 'quiet independence')
I am more like Angelina Jolie (than Jennifer Aniston)
My psyche is Yellow.
I am Macaroni and Cheese.
I should learn French.
I am 60% Normal.
my 80's Theme song is Living on a Prayer by Grambonjovi. er. Bon Jovi.
I should be a Cherry Redhead.
My beauty element is Earth.
I am a Classic Martini (which means that my drinking soulmates are the Chocolate Martini people and my drinking rivals are Margarita Martini people, which begs the question...what the hell is a margarita martini?)
I need some Black in my life (which I do believe contrasts rather glaringly with the whole Yellow psyche thing.)...but if I change my last answer, I need some Green in my life.
My Dosha is Kapha (but I trust Randi more than any internet meme)
My power bird is a Vulture.
I am a Light Pink Rose (thus, I represent sweetness and grace. please don't die laughing.)
My boobies' names are Mork and Mindy. (well, they are now.)
I like names that are Retro and Fashionable.
My Geek Profile shows high Academic Geekiness and moderate Music, Scifi, and Geekiness in Love.
I am a Blue Girl, and my Inner Color is Blue.
I am 78% Tortured Genius, and I could pass 8th grade science.
I am best described by the paintig San Giorgio Maggiore, Twilight by Claude Monet
I am the Tango.
My inner muse is Euterpe. (that's music, for those of you non-classicists.)
Alfred Gockel should paint my portrait.
My name is Marshmallow Angel Rockstar Itchylips Teddybear Flawless Raspberrylips Easy Yummybear Angeleyes.
My Scandinavian Name is Halle Kirby. (kirby? what?)
My Inner Blood Type is B. (inner blood type. wow.)
Lucy Lawless is my Celebrity Boob Twin.
I have a Melancholic Temperament.
I should honeymoon in Mexico. (nah.)
I am an Auditory Learner.
If I were a goddess, I'd be Psyche.
My aura is Blue. (other blues are Angelina Jolie, the Dali [sic] Lama, and Oprah, and I should be a Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, or Counselor.) What would a Dali Lama be? and can I be present for the conversation between the Dali Lama and the Dalai Lama? (Dalai Lama: Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own- Dali Lama: FISH!)
I am 48% Misanthropic.
and lastly, if I were an art movement, I'd be Romanticism.