yesterday I watched an NCIS episode where this serial killer was finally caught (because he was stuffed in a furnace exhaust thingie) only he wasn't the serial killer, his lovely schoolteacher wife was.
her name was Karen Burris, and when they popped her name up on the screen I about died laughing, because it immediately brought to mind none other than my dear professor Simon Burris.
in honor of that (and him) I give thee...
Burris quotes from greek and latin. mostly from latin, because I can't find my greek notebooks.
- "Didja have a good weekend? I didn't, and I'm going to take it out on you."
- "I'm ruthlessly efficient that way."
- "cheating is cheating; it's foul, it's disgusting, it's dirty."
- "I guess I'll ask for volunteers before I go to the Cards O' Death."
- "both of these sentences are wrong: however, there's hope, because there's always someone wrong-er."
- "'he always gives my sons and daughters roses'...he sounds confused."
- "I'd like to have two groups working on each sentence; that way, you'll be in competition and someone will get hurt."
- "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's all about shame. Public humiliation.:
- "well, I don't know about YOUR colon. Someone claim this colon."
- *coughing fit followed by heroic pose* "We go on! ...I don't know why you're laughing."
- "Preach it, brother!"
- "I've got a cold...if I should sneeze and mucous should drench your papers...just open your umbrella."
- "I forgot to take my drugs this morning."
- "Y'can't tell me it's like that! I mean- where does it say 'the classics professor gives roses to the pretty girl?'"
- "Culture good! Grammar better. Much, much better!"
- "have you ever tried to make love to a tree?"
- "Actually, I'm in a Led Zeppelin mood. I've got a strong urge to grow long hair and rip off my shirt and jump up on the table. but I won't do that. I signed a contract when I took this job that I wouldn't do that anymore."
sigh. now I get...the joy of physics.